Separation Anxiety Is Real: How I Overcame My Son's First Day of School!

Over the years, I’ve heard numerous stories of separation anxiety when it’s time for mommy’s to finally ‘let go” and send their child/children into the real world. The real world meaning school. Personally, I didn’t know what emotions I would go through but I was preparing myself, or so I thought.

I was preparing for Aaron to start school in January of 2020 but during the last week of September I received a phone call that a space had opened up at the school I wanted Aaron to attend, I was overjoyed but this meant, Aaron would most likely be off to school by October. OCTOBER. Meaning, my emotional preparations would be cut short by three months.

All my emotions hit me at once. As I went to pick up up the registration forms, I became teary eyed. Yes, mama started to cry. Having Aaron at home for his first couple of years was a conscious choice. My schedule allowed it and it was a personal choice of being hands on during very prime moments of his life. I honestly wanted to be around my baby boy as much as possible and not miss any moments and as I sit here and type, I can honestly say, I did not miss one precious moment from his first crawl, first steps, first words, first everything for the past two and a half years, I’ve been there to witness it all.

So now back to school. Yes, being there for his first day of school should be joyous which trust me it was, but it also hit me that Aaron was now a big boy and about to start taking on the world.

So for the week of preparations before Aaron began school, I would literally have outbursts of tears; at random moments. Literally, I would be in the grocery store and I would feel my eyes welling up then BAM, tears started falling.

There was a moment in the house where I was just staring at Aaron and I started tearing up and he saw me and said, “Mommy, no crying” and I said, “I know. I know but you’re a big boy now” and his response, “Noooooo, i’m your baby.” In that moment, I was reminded no matter how old, Aaron will always be my baby. I hugged him so tight. You know that tightness of, I got you sonSHINE.

I had to make sure this was normal which I knew it was because as I said, i’ve heard stories but it was happening to me. I messaged my best friends in New York and told them about the emotional breakdown I was having and they were like, “Sis, it’s completely normal…” I went on to say, “But we won’t have our daily lunches together anymore…” I remember Danna saying, “Just remind Aaron everyday that you are his one and only best friend…” Of course, that made me laugh. My cousin Bibi reassured me that, “Girl, it’s very normal and you’ll be just fine and so will Aaron.”

Trust me when I say, I was very confident in knowing Aaron would adjust very well but it was mommy emotions that were taking me over.

Let’s now get to the first day of school. Aaron woke up very excited. He took his bath, got dressed and we went on our way. I didn’t shed a tear ( I guess I had let out the load the week before LOL) but Aaron did once he noticed I wasn’t staying in school with him but I had to tune out his tears knowing he would be just fine and he was. When I picked him up, he was so elated to tell me about his day. From what he ate to playtime to his creative artwork (below), he didn’t miss a beat.

I went home the first day and thought what a success but I still didn’t want to miss certain moments like us having breakfast together. So, from the second day on wards, we haven’t missed eating breakfast together. There’ s nothing greater than kicking off the day spending quality time with my little one before heading out.

So here are a few tips for my mamas in dealing with separation anxiety.

1. It is VERY okay to cry.

2. Talk to other mamas about how you’re feeling. They are more likely to relate to you.

3. Remind yourself that you have groomed your child for this day. Your child is destined for GREATNESS.

4. Remind yourself that you are not losing your best friend.

Over the past two and a half years, my life has revolved around my son. I scheduled my meetings/work around my son. Example? I would schedule my meetings after breakfast but before lunch or after lunch but before dinner. I never missed having breakfast, lunch or dinner with Aaron. NEVER. The past week, i’ve started to reschedule my life. I have a lot more ME time. I don’t have a “constrained” schedule, which i’ll say again has been my choice. I love every moment of being a mom. I love every memory my son and I create every single day and him being in school won’t change that.

From when I pick up Aaron from school until bedtime, we have endless conversations. Yes, I have endless conversations with my two-year-old. (I’ll be writing a feature soon on Aaron’s maturity and vast vocabulary at such a young age).

I’m so proud of my son and i’m looking forward to the greatness he will bring into this world. This kid is a genius.